七宝奇谋（国语版）

在我们没有正式进入社会的时候，不怕后果，试图挑战邪恶，永远希望自己拥有浇不灭的勇气和精神。我们也永远期待，看起来平静的社区，波澜不惊的生活，会突然发生一件自己不得不参与并起着关键作用的大事。事后，大人们赞许的目光，同龄人的鼓掌欢呼，也一定是必不可少的关键剧情。

这样的事情，有时候在我们的幻想中经历了千百遍，有时候成了游戏环节的一部分，有时候已经发生了但我们却置身事外。

这种期待，是那个年龄段，每个孩子独有的天赋。

后来，童话变得越来越模糊，冒险也不再是首选。到一定的年龄时，海盗、宝藏、机关陷阱、亮着火把的洞穴都从我们的大脑里偷偷打包好一切离开了。这电影，就成了一段珍贵的纪念。

生活里，没有非自己不可的大事件，没有不会杀人的笨贼，没有等待自己寻找的宝藏，也没有全体角色衷心的赞许与欢呼。

因为没有这些，所以拥有过这些，哪怕只是在想象中拥有过，也是一件了不起的事情。

适应大人的生活，接受成为普通的大人，经历平淡却枯燥的大人日常，不是糟糕的事情，也不是我们后来不够勇敢的惩罚。一定一定不要怪自己。

比迈克尔·杰克逊到你家借用厕所还要惊人？ 比你从疗养院火灾中救出许多老人还要惊人？ 比你吃下与体重相等的披萨还要惊人？ “好”就是我的中间名。 为了让你入睡，爸爸什么事都做。 你一有预感，我们就有麻烦。 “他为什么骑着童车？” “难怪他考不到驾照。” 这里可是避暑胜地，怎么会在秋天开张？ 毒贩从不穿便宜货。 我觉得自己就像一个没工资拿的保姆。 再这样走下去，我们会走到中国的。 我的愿望并没有成真，所以我要收回投到这许愿池的硬币！ 呆子帮从不说“死”！ 我受够骷髅和坠落了！ 独眼威利，你是呆子帮第一人。 “如果你不说脏话，你的声音还是蛮好听的。” “如果你不摆臭脸，你的脸蛋还是挺漂亮的。”

From the ’80’s nostalgic arcade, Richard Donner’s THE GOONIES is scripted by Chris Columbus from Steven Spielberg’s story, who also moonlights as its hands-on producer, so, a juvenile iteration of Indian Jones-esque treasure-hunting adventure is close to the mark, and it is also the main influence of the Duffer brothers’ Netflix hit show STRANGER THINGS (2016-).

After a rumbustious opening to corral the “Goonies” together - a coinage by the school-aged Mikey (Astin), whose members also include Chunk (Cohen), Mouth (Feldman), and Data (Quan), respectively impersonating the stock characters of “the chump”, “the (bilingual) motormouth” and “the (gizmo) geek”, whereas Mikey shows goodly mettle as its leader, an ancient map is serendipitously discovered in Mikey’s family attic, which instigates his intent on seeking out the hidden treasures left by legendary pirate “One-Eyed” Willy centuries earlier, and it is also conveniently imperative because this seems to be the last chance to save their homes from the impending foreclosure, which is due the next week.

The Goonies’ weekend journey is soon joined by Mikey’s elder brother Brand (Brolin), cheerleader Andy (Green) and her wallflower friend Stef (Plimpton), after they infiltrate into a coast-side derelict restaurant which also serves as the lair of the Fratelli crime family, a secret tunnel in the basement will in time lead them to the whereabout of the treasures galore, with the Fratellis closing in on them and a few booby traps to impede their pursuance.

Persisting a white-knuckled pace from A to Z, THE GOONIES is fully aware of its ingrown ludicrousness and inconsistency that it cannot risk losing its momentum of thrills and chills, and on this regard, it has done a remarkable job, also, as a family-friendly fare, it doesn’t necessarily steer away from the macabre, craniums and skeletons are constant scream-inducing props and a deformed strongman-bozo in the shape of Sloth (Matuszak) gives this reviewer quite a startle at first, however, the story shows its well-intentioned felicity to bring a heartwarming twist to defy our preconception about monstrosity.

The young cast’s performance is uniformly engaging and occasionally hilarious, Astin is especially earnest and precociously sagacious in his screen debut (no wonder he created such a hoopla by guest-starring in the second season of STRANGER THINGS), Feldman cunningly exhibits a savvy aptitude that makes an impressive entrance but is mostly underutilized when the cat-and-mouse chase begins, but it is Cohen who is saddled with the most grueling task of acting in the face of incessant grotesque, hectoring and menace, which he pulls it off magnificently without losing his funny bone.

Grownups have less meatier parts to play, save for Anne Ramsey, as the formidable Mama Fratelli, she huffs and puffs imperiously towards her two nebbish sons (Davi and Pantoliano), a soupçon of racist typecasting aside (Italians are criminals by nature?), she really cannot suffer gladly both fools and brats on an equal measure.

referential entries: Donner’s SUPERMAN (1978, 6.6/10); Chris Columbus’ PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF (2010, 4.2/10); Steven Spielberg’s INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984, 7.2/10).